Imperfect Berries


Berry picking a few weeks ago with Miss Beane, Max and the tiny little babe. While I love these images so much from the day, what sticks with me more was the start to finish interaction. Honestly, I got in the car on our way there and was just feeling really cranky. I can't believe Lue and Max didn't pull over and put me in a timeout in a nearby field or something. It was what I would've needed. No one really talks about those moments. 

People misunderstand optimists all the time and think one might be ignorant of life's troubles and off living in "la-la land." Nothing could be further from the truth. I believe it's because of just how aware of darkness and negativity both in self talk and interactions with others, that the optimist dedicates their life to bringing light to fight it. We are all ultra aware of how bad things can get and how every single thing can be lost in an instant. An optimist has realized that they can lose control of everything, except their attitude and perspective and outlook on a situation. No one can ever take that away and the choice is always your own. 

An optimist is not ignorant. They are making a conscious decision, everyday, every moment, over and over and over.   I am a huge believer in celebrating the good moments, the best little ones, and always desperately attempting to view that glass as half full even when there's maybe not even a full ounce of anything in it. I fail often, but it's like my life motto, to search for the good and celebrate the heck out of it. I hope Luella remembers and knows me as a Mom who was happy and not one who was consistently complaining about this life. I want to be a "we can fix this flat tire, no problem that you spilled the milk all over the floor, accidentally ripped that book, took the wrong turn but hey we are now on a new adventure" type of Mom. 

We talk about the beautiful field, the gorgeous lines of strawberry plants, the sun shining, and the perfect moments in between the bad ones, which can't be a bad thing. If those things are judged or considered cliche, bad, or not real then something is terribly wrong with our world.  I have been analyzing this. 

But sometimes I wonder where the balance is with all of that, especially online. Anyone who actually knows me, hopefully feels that when I am with them, the search for gratefulness, encouragements, or positive interactions. One's that make the other person feel heard and uplifted. At least I would really hope that is what they would pick up on. I work really hard to promote that but know I still have an incredible amount of areas I need to grow in. This berry picking morning was not perfect. The drive there was pretty rough. Oh we need cash or check? What is this, old fashioned days? Drive back home.. me complaining.. Lue yelling something about everything.. wanting every toy I couldn't reach in the van. 

Max held us all together that morning. He caught the vision of how precious life is. It's funny how we do this to each other, we dance back and forth between being the person who snaps the family back into calm somehow and today was his day. You could tell his look on his face was like, "Oh my goodness you two girls, you're killing me! And I'm going to have three girls this Fall.. too much female!" (Or at least thats what I was imagining he was thinking) 

He reached over to me and grabbed my hand and reminded me how precious this life is. We could easily get into an accident at any moment and our life could be ended. Let's just start over and somehow be grateful for this togetherness. The journey to closeness is for sure not always this simple, but I feel like him and I value harmony so much that we try to work so hard to getting back to that place as fast as we can. I hate being in discord with him and I know he hates it too, so we travel back to togetherness usually as fast as we can. I loved this berry picking morning. I loved the heat on my back, the strawberries that got squished into my linen apron dress, the way Lue bounced back and forth between Max and I and the rows. I loved the way Lue ate almost every berry she picked. Her millions of questions, and my knees in the dirt. I loved finding the awkward, weird shaped strawberries. Those were my favorite ones. 

There is always SO much to be grateful for. Always, always. That's the kind of person I am and want to be even more. But that doesn't mean that life will always be perfect and I love that beautiful choice we have to find and seek the good in others, ourselves and a situation. More of that. 

By the way, this berry farm is called Natura Farms in Scandia, Minnesota and would absolutely recommend them. 

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